We don’t know what anything means. We like to think we do, but at the best of times, hindsight puts words on something we didn’t quite know we were experiencing, years down the line.
In the moment, the noise, heightened feelings, unanswered questions and restlessness trigger a sense of urgency, an impetus to react, to take charge, to set things straight. And after the turmoil comes the exhaustion, and then the pondering and the regrets or the confusion or the anger at whatever went wrong, or the thirst for pleasure or validation. And then more of the same.
Detachment is a refusal to buy into the urgency, the instant meaning, the false sense of control, wealth and justice. It means abiding by a bigger picture, a bigger system in which nothing is lost or hurt, and our agitation is only a hindrance.
The cost may seem like ‘everything’ to the ignorant eye, but the rewards are infinite. Nothing trumps serenity, kinship, love and joy.
The will to enjoy life opens our eyes, mind and heart to new experiences, but eventually accumulation slows us down.
Advancing is best achieved nimble and refreshed, and best enjoyed when we grasp the infinity of experiences to be had, we can be satisfied with the one we’re having now.
All things pass, decline, decay, disappear. Until then, what is here is real, useful and meaningful.
Detachment is as much about enjoying what we have as it about not longing for what we don’t or no longer have.
The knowing that all things are impermanent is an invitation to savour the present rather than chase what we believe we are missing.
There is no merit in chasing when accumulation is an illusion.
Meanwhile, things enjoyed build us up, provide a sense of comfort and attract abundance.
Our idea of what is right and wrong, pleasurable and dreadful, effective and useless, is informed by our own perspective on life.
When we genuinely grasp that other views are valid and justify other choices, we can free ourselves of judgement.
The non-judgement applies to our own choices too. What we prefer and enjoy is no more or less valid than anything else. We can find comfort in liking what we have. Our judgement and expectation of it can only bring pain.
Reacting can only be done out of a script, some idea of natural consequence to a categorised action.
If we are going to be present to life and enjoy our experience as new and ever changing, we need the time to consider our situation, gain perspective, choose a response that may or not repeat the times.
In exercising restraint of tongue and pen, taking our time, and more significantly, opting for calm in the midst of agitation, we free our selves from the oppression of uncontrollable circumstances.
The fact things rot doesn’t mean we ought to destroy them. Just like not engaging with something that will disappear is a waste, destroying is an insult to the law of nature.
Impermanence is defined by cycles; plants grow anew every spring, new life is created from decay, waves advance and recede.
Enjoying life is best done with respect for renewal, with a caring for the ability to grow, transcend, revive.
In relationships, that means room for forgiveness, solidarity, working things through.
Our ideas of wealth, love, luck, sanity, kindness, kinship and worth are likely to be warped - by hurt, ignorance, oblivion.
Detaching from what we hold to be true, and letting ourselves observe, without any judgement, will teach us that our soul cannot be hurt - 'we', the indefinable part of us that is given life, learns a lesson or two, contributes something and then returns to the whole, is ok regardless of what happens.
The world is abundant, time doesn’t exist, we can’t unlove, we are one with the Creation.
We may die missing these facts, but deep down, we know to keep breathing.
With clarity comes the ability to let go of what doesn't serve us, let things change and renew, even if it means going bare and vulnerable for a while.
Things change, change causes pain, pain is ok, and then we know we survive.
Pain says we're alive.
Stripping Away
Splitting apart
Decomposing
Removal